Hey Hey... feel so happy to go out with Huiya again. I think all of you will be wondering how Huiya can bear with me. I am also thinking about the same question. At times I really pity her... She need to bear with my nonsense. Ha Ha...

Let's talk about our outing last night. We planned to have the dinner at cafe kowloon in Chinatown. The service is damn poor. Oh my god, we asked for ju hua tea. but they serve jasmine tea. Oh my god. It is such a big difference. I am so pissed off. If even when they change the tea, they didnt even bother to pour. Hm... But the food is quite nice. Ha Ha... Well... the chinese food in Australia cant be compared to the food in Singapore. Moreover, the Aussies like to eat deep fried food. For example, spring rolls and salt and pepper chicken. Oh .. next we headed off to Marion Shopping Centre.

It is the first time that the whole carpark is almost full when it is a tuesday. Hm... Oh ya... Marion Shopping Centre is the biggest shopping centre in Adelaide. It has 30 threatres. The whole place seems so much like Golden village, even the carpet is the same. Haha... Moreover, we are watching a Jap movie- Howl's Moving Castle. I know alot of people will start whining that it is a old movie. But I didnt have the chance to watch wat. Moreover watching a Jap movies in a ang mo country seem fun. Haha.. but i really have to admit that the show is very entertaining. There's some parts where we were confused. Anyway, we decided to look for the book and read. Our conclusion was the animation is not as good as Spirited Away.

Next... About the showdown between my housemates. Before that, I need to say something-- I AM NOT A DIFFICULT PERSON! Haha... firstly, regarding the rumors, it was actually Jonan wanting to sound me out about what happen during my night out with Carter. Then I realise that I cant really trust Veron. She tells alot of things that I told her to Jonan. It causes a lot of misunderstanding between me and Jonan. Jonan thought I want Veron to move out with me. Veron told him that I ask her how long can she bear with the nonsense of him. Haiz... so much misunderstanding. Well... now it seems that I cant trust anyone. I just continue to act blur and happy till the end of this semester. I had to as i dont have much time to search for a new place to move right now. I need to concentrate on my stuff. I am left with 5 weeks before my exams. Jia you!

I am troubled! I am disappointed! I am confused! I just can't be myself.

I dont want to be in this house. It caused me too many stress. Too many mental inbalance. I am lost. I dont know what I should do next. Can anyone please advise me?

It supposed to be my September holidays. The arrival of Jonan's mother and Ah ma causes a lot of stress. Almost everyday that will be arguement in the house. I am on the verge of breaking down. This whole week had shown me that the bond between Veron, Jonan and me is so weak. On last sunday, Auntie Joy(Jonan's mom) quarrel with him and Veron. They dig out of the ugly side and the past. Actually Auntie Joy came over to buy an apartment for Jonan so that he dont need to rent from others. then Auntie Joy say that Veron poision Jonan's mind with all her thoughts. But the thing is Jonan had not been treating her well... Enough of that ... I just feel she is being very seifish.. at the end of the day, she want Veron and me to continue to stay in our current house till the end of the lease. Just for the sake of the son. After the quarrel and all, I am feeling so down and stress.... I am stressed because Veron keep telling what to do. I am fed up. I just need someone who is not from the house. The only person I can think of is Carter. I know it is not a wise choice. Hui ya is Melb... haiz...

After the trip to Carter's place, rumors and hatred begin to surface. Jonan is angry at me being at Carter's place. He feel that his pride is gone as I will tell Carter what had happened. Jonan feel that I had betray him. Veron is angry at me for going to find Carter. She feel as a girl, I should not zhi dong song shang men. But Carter is my friend now. Moreover, she also feel that i will tell Carter what had happened. But the thing is we supposed to meet for dinner on that night. No one tell Carter if the dinner is still on or not. In the end, both of them sleep in the living room.

Rumors?? I dont know who and where it start. There's a rumor saying that I had sex with Carter. I had never. Can't a guy and a girl be just friends? Later it will be spread throughout the whole OCF and uniSA. Well... what can i do? I chose to keep quiet and forget about the whole issue. I never want to bring it up again. It was till yesterday. Veron start bring everything up. I know it is not good for my reputation as a girl. But what can I do? Anyway, I dont think anyone will know who am I. Jonan and her were outcasted from OCF as they are living together. She scared that the same thing will happen to me. We nearly have another arguement. It is all about jealousy... She even feel that the rumors was spread by Carter.

But what about her? Jonan did something bad to her. His family were not nice to her But what did she do? She chose to stay by his side. On Satursday, they had an agruement. Jonan wanted to break off with her and move back to Singapore. Then she say that she want to move out, sharing an apartment with me. We had been finding apartment thoughout the night.But you know what happened? The very next day, when I return from work, they are back together again. She had been telling me to move out so that I dont need to handle the stress. She also been trying to move out but in the end, she will chose to stay. Why? Dont I feel like a fool believing her? I really dont know what I should do. I dont know who should I trust. What should I do? She keep telling me to be demure and behave like a mature woman. But I am me. If I am doing all this, I am not myself. Suddenly, I realise I no longer have a voice. A voice of my own.

I am sorry that this entry is super long as it conclude all my suffering this 10 days.

I know it had been a long time since I last wrote anything. Please dont blame me. There are a lot of things happening. The events that happened:

1. Jonan's mom and ah ma came over for a visit. I had to give up my room. Hence I am sharing with Veron.
2. Jonan and his family had a big arguement on Sunday. Mooncake Festival? HaHa... You still reckon I have the mood to celebrate? It is the 1st time I have so much craving for mooncakes, especially those from Goodwood Park Hotel. YummY~ or maybe i just miss home.
3. The mom and Ah ma nearly threaten to move out the next day and fly back to Australia. Haiz... Making me feeling so gulity. But end up the next day morning like nothing happen. Haiz... Veron continue to sing along with them. Haiz...
4. In the end, I spend $15 to take a cab to Carter's place for shether. Too stressed up. Forcing Arther out of hs room .. feeling so bad. Anyway, at least I am recharged. I have a little more sleep.
5. I am drained by the eldery to accompany them here and there while I have 1 more assignement due. Don't ask me why~ they just want accompany. It is not fun! Imagine there are 4 women in the house. Veron keep singing along with his mom and ah ma. Poor me! I keep hearing flies flying in my ears...
6. I wanted to learn my driving theory. I think I need to wait till the week after the mom is gone. But i went to the kitchen today. I nearly fainted. The whole kitchen is so dirty. with of oil. Haiz.. I think I need to spend another day cleaning up everything. How can I do my own stuff?

Anyway, after all this , I truly believe my Mummy is the best. I am sorry that i cant call back as They are around. no privacy. Mummy I know you will not do all this hor? hee hee ...I think I cant go visit Victor Habour and Gleng le.

It's been some time since I had written anything. This 2 weeks had been real busy for me. I had 2 presentation, 2 essay and 1 interview to complete before week 7. I had got back one of presentations results. I have B+ for the presentation and a B- for the essay(Play studies). But I am quite disappointed with the results, especially for the presentation. I can see that my lecturer is being racist. Moreover he say that we should not interupt the other students. But it supposed to have interaction. Well... I am not very sure about the whole thing. Through this , i have learn how the Aussies work. I guess I am more aware of the things i supposed to do in order to pass. I hope I can score better next time. Anyway, I am still waiting for my essay results. I am really worried about that.

Actually, there is a lot of things happening in this house. I have decided to move out at the end of this year. I really dont wish to mention much about the stuff. But in this house, there's no privacy. Hence, I dont even like to call home. Haiz...

I had been really stressed and exhausted from all my commitments lately. I am really trying to catch up with my work. Moreover, all my group assignments were being delayed. On top of that miss my family. I don't dare to call home last week. I really feel I cant face them. I am here to study but i didnt manage my life well... Haiz.. I just need some time off for myself. I should in this house there's no privacy as the walls are empty. Sounds can travel. Haha... Hence whatever I am facing I cant tell anyone. Bottling up everything is very unhealthy for me! Hence, I wanted to watch fireworks at WIndy point alone. But I was being scolded by all.

I know I should grow up and be responsible for my own actions. I should try to think for others' feelings and think over my actions. At the same time I know if i dont relieve myself from all the stress, I might kill myself one day. That is worse than being raped or murder, right? Haha... Just kidding. At times,I just cant understand why guys can do whatever they want? Why there are bad people around? Why not all countries are as safe as Singapore? Anyway, I just hopped on the train and go to Gleng. I know it is dangerous as well. But I did come back safely.

At times, I often thought that if there's no one who is concerned about you, it is very sad. But at the same time, too much concern bring on stress. Am i living because of everyone's opinions or should I do what i feel is right? That sounds immature, right? But what is maturity? How can I satify everyone's expectations of me and be myself? It is a hard question. haha...

好想飛阿...過著自由自在的生活!